Do You Prefer to Samba or Swing?

How do you know when you are falling away from your talents as a leader, and are stepping onto someone else’s toes by starting to manage –or worse yet – micro-manage your business and your teams?

There are dances of leadership and management.  There are some skills that are unique to leaders and some skills that are unique to managers; and then there are those people (and honestly, that’s most of us) who have skills that are both leadership and management to varying degrees.

As a leader you become much more effective when you know which skills you have to offer and which skills you want to rely on team members to carry out.

The most succinct quote I’ve seen describing the differences between these two essential positions belongs to Stephen Covey:

“Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall.”

~Stephen Covey

In a recent leadership workshop, a group of 10 dynamic leaders and thinkers came together and defined leadership for themselves.

Their descriptions did not include the following qualities:

• Controlling
• Secretive
• Unpredictable
• Poor listener
• Demanding
• Disconnected
• Out of touch
• Uncaring
• Self-centered
• Tunneled
• Self-serving
• Unscrupulous
• Elitist
• Greedy

When I attend conferences and start a discussion about what leaders are and what leaders are not, I always find it interesting to hear what people define as leadership.

One of my favorite “ah-ha” moments came at a workshop where a woman raised her hand and challenged me when I told the group they were all natural leaders.  She shared that she didn’t consider herself a leader and did not agree that we all potentially have leadership skills.  I found it really interesting; because she was the one woman in the room I observed demonstrating the most leadership out of all the groups.

As we played with ideas and definitions of leadership, she began to see that having power is not necessarily leadership.  What a leader chooses to do with the power they have really defines who they are as a leader.  In the words of Dwight D. Eisenhower, “You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership.”

It was easy to see how this woman was sharing ideas, asking questions, and encouraging everyone in the group to share and expand their thinking on the project they were working on. But, she had said that she never thought of what she did as leadership, because the way she defined leadership was based on things she saw leaders doing that she didn’t like.  Until that moment, she had never considered herself, or even wanted to be, a leader.  The smile on her face with this “ah-ha” has stayed with me for months. Here’s an example of a natural leader, who didn’t recognize her own leadership qualities.

I’ve got a tip for you. Before you label yourself as a manager or leader or some combination of both, think about leaders you admire, who are in a place of influence.

• What qualities do they embody?
• What do you share that is in common with these leaders?

If your mental wheels are turning and you would like some help or more clarity on this topic, give me a call!

3 Easy Keys to Setting Goals You Can Achieve in 2010

A number of weeks ago, Oprah announced she was going to move on from her Award Winning Talk Show. What made her do it? Oprah is an extremely accomplished businesswoman. Her business endeavors are always changing and expanding. She continually creates. Her successes provide her with massive public approval conversely her failures bring ridicule. Watching how she creates her dreams, imagining the goals she must set and the grace she holds is inspiring.

Setting goals are essential to creating success in any business. And if you are like me, setting goals is often the first roadblock I face in business, go figure. I have worked hard to overcome this roadblock when I was part of building a successful high tech company; I was actually accused of being a pitbull for resolution. A term that makes me laugh. Pitbull is not a term most people would use in describing me, yet it fits when it comes to business success. Watching Oprah develop her businesses has helped me understand the keys to my own success in being part of a team that built a multi-million dollar business.

So whether you are a fan of writing goals or quake in your boots as I do every time I embark on the process, you can learn how to take advantage of this transforming process and get the results you want in the face of the direst consequences, fear of failure.

➢ Set Your Self Up for Success

The first key to success goals is to set you up for success. Hold your vision and make every goal you set a small attainable one in the direction of your dream. That’s all one-step at a time. Many of us get trapped setting goals that are too big and really more of a dream. In business we are encouraged to do this. Make our quarterly sales and yearly sales marks are really more of visions and dreams. We can’t possibly know what the future will hold.

Often we know part of the path to our vision but not all of it. The path to achieve our vision involves our own personal economy. Economy has to do with understanding our resources, energy flow, strengths, values, and how we impact our worlds. How to manage personal economy can sometimes be like navigating in a fog. At times we can see farther and at times it’s so thick we can only take one step in front of ourselves. Take steps every day. Write your daily goals in a way that you can achieve them. Then follow step 2.

➢ Goals Provide Feedback Not Judgment

Achieving and not achieving goals is feedback not judgment. People who experience it as judgment often experience fears of failure one of the biggest blocks to setting goals. And there is something you can do about this. The more afraid we are to fail the more information we need to ease into the next step. Imagine your goals are like stepping into a dense fog. Every step sets your brain scrambling to process the information. Do I keep going in this direction, does the ground feel stable with this step, is the fog lifting a bit so I can see a few steps ahead. Key number two then is to pay attention to how you process feedback and make it work to your advantage.

➢ Don’t Take Success or Failure of Your Goals Personally

Don’t take success or failure personally. It is just information. If you are in a fog and take a step onto, soft squishy ground, you will pull yourself back. You would not waist your time lamenting whether your foot picked up the right information, should you go further and see how deep the squishy stuff goes, you would start thinking about a better path with firmer ground. Not taking things personally and evaluating your course and direction empowers you to make choices and go a different way.

“Its true, Oprah is just a TV show celebrity and she seems to be able to afford to take risks. Most people who succeed have a ratio of 4:1 failures for every success. If you are like me, you appreciate the joys of success as much as watching the path to your dreams unfold. Set your goals this year keeping these powerful guidelines in mind. These keys will help you deal with whatever challenges your life and businesses present. And insure you emerge profitable and victorious.”

Intuitive Based Leadership

“Let’s go get the blueberry out of my shirt.”

There it was again, I thought. Whenever a profound moment occurs something ridiculous usually happens, like a blueberry falling into the depths of my white blouse. If it wasn’t for these Bridget Jones moments, I don’t know if I would have developed the ability to notice important details as often as I do. It’s like a little intuitive joke that has become a beacon. This particular moment came on the heals of writing “The Art and Science of High Performance and Leadership” and this article.

I was traveling with my daughter and her friend. We were finishing the obligatory tour at college number five. The four others did not make the “I want to go here list.” I knew something was different at this school when the camera came out. In our family successful events are marked by spontaneous picture taking.

We stumbled upon the library after circling the campus a few times. There sat three bronze statues in a beautiful little courtyard. A photo op for sure. I was tossed the camera as my daughter and her friend ran over to pose with the statues. It was one of those irresistible moments. I am rarely the designated photographer. For a flash I hesitated, out of my comfort zone with a nonpoint and click camera. “Oh well”, I thought I couldn’t see the details in the little lense anyway. So I moved a lot, snapped a lot and hoped for the best. I got lucky!

Across the courtyard from the statues sat a group of what looked like professors from around the world. I heard a variety of accents. They were enjoying their lunches, chatting away and deep in discussion. All of a sudden, one of them popped up and joined in. He put a cup in the statues hand. The laughter increased from our little group to include theirs. In a few more moments, the statue was adorned with all sorts of items.

“Look at this”, I thought there is that leadership thing. The energy facilitates strangers to connect and create together. It’s fun, attractive uplifting. It can take on a life of its own as people join in the and also intuit the rules of engagement. My daughter was a natural and I was having a proud mama moment. My stomach though started demanding attention. It was one 0’clock and we hadn’t had lunch yet. I put the camera down and grabbed a handful of blueberries.

This moment was not to be glossed over and my intuitive nudge dropped the blueberry. My Mama’s moment turned into a writers moment. I did not want to break up the fun or get a big blueberry stain in the middle of my shirt. What a dilemma. I made a signal smile to my daughter. She and her friend came over and I whispered “Let’s go get the blueberry out of my shirt.” The girls promptly cracked up. Christina, a writer herself, exclaimed, that sounds like a great title for a book. Collaborative intelligence and intuitive moments go hand in hand. “Hmm! I will have to think about that one.” I replied. The rest of the afternoon was spent interjecting the blueberry theme and laughing.

Intuition is a funny thing. It is unique to each of us. Learning to use it is a very individual process, just like learning to talk or learning a new language. Successful leaders develop the skill of utilizing their intuition. Intuition is the life saver that is relied on after all the facts and data have been collected about a situation.

There are numerous examples in history of great decisions to act and not to act were based intuition. During the Cuban missile crisis, Kennedy chose to wait and not respond in some instances which avoided huge catastrophe’s.

Richard Branson, Steve Jobs and most successful entrepreneurs speak about their ability to follow their instincts and take the road less traveled.

The ability to lead yourself in your life is becoming more and more essential as social groups, community structures, resources and businesses are changing at faster rates than ever before. The gift of intuition is a critical guide in times of change. For the skilled leader, change is the way life is lived. A natural leader is adept at recognizing opportunity, connections, ideas, as well as facilitating concepts to create and improve things.

Leadership can be exhibited no matter where you are in your life, your business and your circumstances. Leadership skills are often more evident when a person is taking action in an area of their strengths. We each have this potential. Leaders draw people in and inspire movement towards a greater purpose. They transform, create and are instinctively aware of opportunities.

Leaders are facilitators of change. An effective leader develops skills to stay present in moments, to recognize opportunities, vision what is possible, focus, bring people, teams and circumstances together. Change happens faster and with more ease when people feel, see, here and can conceive of the benefits. Change involves risk. A good leader knows this and positively guides his teams to move through the risk process.

Discover a Stunningly Simple Way for Busy Leaders to Sidestep Draining Time Management Mistakes

In all the years I have been working with innovative executives, business owners and mothers; I am always intrigued to see women reading about and discussing having a balanced work and family life. Balance is this nebulous golden ring working mothers are always reaching for. As a matter of fact, the more I hear people speaking about work life balance, I am amazed at just how many people believe in this concept even though they rarely get there or know people who have.

Well, I am here to tell you: Balance is bunk. The belief you can achieve balance and feel good about your life couldn’t be further from the truth!

It breaks my heart, but most of these folks are needlessly headed for disaster. And the worst part is: it just doesn’t have to happen!

If you would like to avoid their fate (and I know you do!), consider this: the concept of balance is the biggest catastrophe involving how you manage and think about your time.

What image do you get when you think about balance: a scale, a balance beam, a tight rope? Balance has the imagery of walking the straight and narrow path, tipping in one direction or another, always holding tight control.

What happens when you are out of balance? Can you see how problematic this could be? If you tip too far in one direction, you may fall off all together! I have to catch my breath even thinking about this.

The metaphor of balance, although it has good intentions, leads to stress in the everyday decision making processes. Forces you can and can’t see are always pulling at you and you have to pay attention to all of them to stay along the centered path.

There is an easier way. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change. The solution is simple. Focus on creating ease and flow in all areas of your life. Aim for harmony. Imagine a beautiful piece of music. There are many notes, many instruments and they all fit together and complement each other even though they are different.

The type of music you are playing doesn’t even matter. Jazz, classical, Rock, Country, R & B etc.  A good piece of music works with harmony. Can you feel the ease thinking about your life as a beautiful harmonious composition vs. balancing on the scales of your life? When I gave up the balance plan, I even stopped going on the bathroom scale…too much stress.

So stop tipping your scales and start creating your beautiful music. Ask yourself these few crucial questions.

• Can I see an easier way to handle this situation?

• What can I do to create more harmony in my life?

• How do my choices resonate with my goals and values?

No matter how long you have been paying attention to schedules, managing projects at work and at home, chances are you are missing this crucial focus. The good news: you can ask yourself these simple questions that I have outlined. You can end these stressful time, balance and management beliefs and stop leaving your valuable time, your energy and your money on the table.

Time, Prosperity, and Peace Of Mind: Fantasy or Reality?

If you are an innovative business woman, executive, or solo professional, one of the things that can drain your energy, keep you running an unending treadmill, and drive you nuts at times is to figure out how you can master the current demands of your business and have time to keep it expanding. Your days are typically full of must do’s.   Where do you have time to look at expanding services to your customers, reaching new markets and doing the business of growing your business?  Peace of mind and business???

It’s even more discouraging when you look for help and the answer everyone gives you is to work harder when you are already maxed out.  How does the skillful leader lead themselves out of this downward spiral of energy?

Well, get ready to celebrate, because I am about to reveal the secret that will solve this unrelenting problem for you once and for all.

And…relax!  It doesn’t involve sleeping less, eating dinner at your desk, or drinking mega amounts of caffeine and energy drinks.

There is a connection you have that can guide you every step of the way.  Unlock your soul in your business, watch your life transform.  What does this mean?

It means really paying attention to the aspects of your business where you shine.  In this changing market, it’s more important than ever before to pay attention to market trends and demands while staying true to your passions and expertise.  It’s good business to make time for forward thinking, planning and aligning your business vision with market trends.

The more we live true to our nature, the more our dreams become reality.  How we express our nature will change throughout our lives, our gifts or soul purpose do not.

On a recent walk, I saw two beautiful Sandhill cranes sitting perched on a fallen tree, basking in the morning sun.  I was reminded of a story that illustrates this sense of purpose.

There was a mighty oak tree that used to stand tall next to a trickling waterfall in the woods.

After a strong lightning storm, the tree was struck and fell across the stream making a bridge. A little girl came to play in the wood and loved to shimmy across the tree.

One day the girl noticed how big and strong the trunk of the tree was and felt sad that such a mighty old thing was lying on the floor of the wood and not standing tall. She asked the tree if it was sad and if there was anything she could do to help it.

The tree was warmed by the little girl’s intentions and responded.

“I had many years of standing big and tall, feeding the forest, the animals, and the people with my acorns, leaves and air that I breathed. I fulfilled my purpose and it is time to fulfill it in a new way.  Now I get to have children run across me, animals nest around me and serve the ground that served me for so many years.  Do not be sad.  This is my nature.”

The little girl smiled and thanked the tree for giving her such a fun place to play.

As I watched the cranes, knowing they liked fallen trees as a place to rest,
I felt a keen awareness of the importance of nurturing our inner nature.

A number of years ago, a client was working for a large computer firm in a  problem-solving troubleshooting capacity.  He had excellent skills in this area, however putting out fires was not the most satisfying work for him.  As he explored his strengths, he decided to start his own company problem-solving in the areas of computer technology he enjoyed.   Although he did work hard, he also ended up developing a multi-million dollar successful company.

What comes naturally to you?

Where do you shine when you nurture your nature?

Is it time to express or put a new face on your purpose? Is it time to really allow yourself to expand what you are already doing?

Challenge

Think about your week and look at where your expertise is being expressed.

How do you feel when you are doing these tasks?

Is there a way you can express even more?

What can you let go of?

So take a deep breath.  I really want you to get this:  Working harder is NOT the solution to your time, prosperity and peace of mind challenges.  After all, if working harder was the key, you would be there by now.  It’s time to make your life easier and align with your purpose, stop working harder.  Simply follow the steps outlined above, and you will be on your way, easily taking the first steps to insure your own reality of peace, prosperity and time.

The Spirit Of Leadership

I have never bought into the idea that the bottom line for business is only profit. A business, whether owned by a solo-preneur, partnership, or corporation, is an energy exchange. A business only focused on the bottom line limits opportunities and ultimately stifles growth by imbalancing the exchange. In addition, a business that is not creating abundance is not yet in the balance and flow of its energy.  Energy is abundant and expansive and likes to flow.  Working from an energetic perspective can help you utilize energy in the most useful and expansive ways possible.

A few years ago, I heard a beautiful story about abundance and the mind set of a leader.  It comes from an African Folk tale.  There was a woman who carried two buckets on a stick across her shoulders down to the river every day to gather water for her vegetables.  Day after day one of the buckets leaked along the path.  By the time she got to the vegetable garden, one of the buckets was empty.  The empty bucket was always sad because it believed it was not doing its job of carrying water to the vegetables.  It finally got the courage to speak to the woman.  The bucket told the woman it could not understand why she kept carrying it when it was not doing its job.   Surprised, the woman paused and looked at the bucket. She told the bucket to look at the path from the river to the vegetable garden.  The bucket did and saw flowers all along the path.  The bucket still did not understand.  The woman then told the bucket if it did not leak, the flowers along the path would not be watered. Looking at the beautiful flowers made the difficult trip of carrying heavy water back and forth easier and more enjoyable.

Living and leading from a spiritual approach makes you a co-creator with your inner wisdom, higher power or however you relate to forces in the universe that connect all of us and are greater than each of us.  This spirit was breathed into us when we came into this world and is abundant and loving.  Each of us has a gift, talent or strength.  In the bucket story, the woman, a wise strengths based leader, utilized the gifts of the leaky bucket and did not toss it away.

Choosing to live and do business from spirit is a choice to allow unique strengths to be utilized in yourself and others.  You learn to live your values about spirit which often involve expressions of consciousness such as  love, creativity, success, responsibility, connection and joy. The driving force to manifest comes from a desire to spread these qualities in whatever way keeps them expanding.  This is totally congruent with business and an exchange of commerce.

In a High Performance Leadership Model, you are looking to express the best in yourself and the best in your team, staff or group.  Fear, greed and competition are normal to experience in leadership, but are not the driving force for the spirit based leader.   Service, cultural benefit, team work and profit are the focus.  The leader who honors his or her own spirit and values communicates that energy and looks for and honors it in others.  Win –Win.

While many people believe leadership skills are innate to some degree this is true.   We all have the ability to lead if we do so in an area of our strengths and learn to develop our natural leadership style.  It often involves a letting go of preconceived notions about leadership and understanding the difference between leadership and management.

As I study leadership, I like to invoke the wisdoms of great leaders over the ages.

Consider Van Gogh, a major influence in the art world.  Where did his leadership come from?

“I dream my painting, then I paint my dream.”  Van Gogh

• Leadership is about vision.

In the science world, Isaac Newton was quoted as saying:

“If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants.”  Isaac Newton

• Leadership is about supporting people in the development of their unique talents and gifts.

In the military world, General Colin Powell has said,

“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.”

• Leadership creates and inspires people to see the vision.

In politics, one the forefathers of our country, John Quincy Adams, proposed,

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.”

• Leadership facilitates thinking in the people they are leading.

In literature, Scottish author John Buchan is quoted:

“The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.”

• Leadership places more emphasis on finding the right people rather than training people once they take on a position.

Jack Welch, former leader in the growth of GE:

“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.”

• Leaders are in service to employees and customers alike.

Andrew Carnegie:

“No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit for doing it.”

• Leadership inspires and fosters cultures.

Gold Meier, former Prime Minister of Israel:

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”

Baseball Manager Gene Mauch:

”You can’t lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself.”

• Leadership is a journey into personal growth.

“Leaders are more powerful role models when they learn than when they teach.” Rosabeth Moss Kantor

• Leadership looks for and inspires change.

“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” Eleanor Roosevelt

• Leadership  is about hope.

High Performance Leadership is a co-creative experience that is a benefit to all involved.   It feeds excellence, synchronicity, enchanted ideas, connections, fun, coincidence, creativity and abundance.  It is an infinite source of energy.  If you haven’t thought about bringing your spirit into your leadership and workplace, consider trying it.

The Three things you won’t learn in college or graduate school about leadership, having a six figure income and a healthy and happy life

If you are looking for a way to stop feeling stressed about too much to do and too little time,  you’ve said this and heard this over and over:  if only they would ….  if only I could work  smarter, not harder….. if only I had more time.  .  . if I could just be more efficient. . . . if only I could say no more often.  Are the hairs raising on the back of your neck yet?

If this is the case:

Why is it the more efficient you get, the more work you get?

Why is it that the more help you get, the harder you have to work to get things done?

Are you stuck in the law of diminishing returns?

The sad reality is there are three things you never learned in High School, College or Graduate School.

You are about to discover these 3 crucial leadership tools that can save you years of struggle and help catapult your success in your business and your personal life:

1. Take breaks, notice your intuition and listen to it.
2. Listen to the people in your life.  Notice your self-talk and feelings as you listen.
3. Be clear with your intentions they are communicated whether you are speaking them or not.

Paying attention to these three areas can help you create the connections you want to increase your business, and create income while saving you enormous amounts of time.

Let’s see how this looks in a business.  Imagine you are negotiating a sale, you have done your due diligence and know your audience can benefit from your products.  You also know this audience is slow to move.  You give it your best shot and received polite responses.

Then nothing.  Frustration sets in.  Doubt follows.  Desire to make that sale deepens.  After all, you have put all that work, time and energy into this!  The energy starts to surge in your body.  You know this is a great opportunity for you and your potential client.  Jump in leadership skills, it’s time to lead.

Ask yourself, what is your gut telling you?  Listen beyond the words, to emotions and what is not being said.  Clarify your intentions and encourage the people you are dealing with to do the same.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said,

“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

Leadership, happiness and success is an inside out job.   You can learn the tools and guide yourself to the life of your dreams.

Hello world!

Welcome to my new website!  Please let me know if you have any comments or questions.  I look forward to hearing from you!